Disclaimer: the spacing on this is wrong, but if you read it you’ll at least understand the gist of the poem and you’ll get the photo copies tomorrow.
Articles of Faith
I used to like Nicole Kidman
now I like Kirsten Dunst.
Jennifer Aniston is a schmuck
but Brad’s sure a rotter
even if I was the only one who liked him in Troy
he had the Achillean pout right.
I much prefer the Creature from the Black Lagoon’s environmental warning
to the Invisible Man’s exploration of neurosis
although in the update with Kevin Bacon
I like the nudity.
When it says at the bottom in small print
language, gore and nudity
I like that
but the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
made me cry on an airplane,
got to be from the lack of cabin pressure.
Grown men should not wear shorts in airports
unless they are baggage handlers.
Bearded men should never play the flute.
Most heavy metal music is anger over repressed homoerotic urges
is the sort of idea that got me beat up in high school.
There is nothing sadder than a leaf
falling from a tree then catching an updraft higher than the tree
then getting stuck in a gutter.
Symbolism is highly suspicious because it can’t be helped.
There is always something you can never touch, neer have
but there it is, right in front of you.
The opposite is also true.
Even though the bells are ringing
your glissando is private.
Truth labors to kee up with the tabloids.
Every word is a euphemism.
Every accident is organized by a secret system
and you’re telling me life isn’t personal?
The starfish disgorges its stomach to devour its prey.
A network of deceptions festoons the cortege.
An X-Acto knife cuts a kingfisher from an oil company ad.
In the beginning the divine creator wrote 999 words and created
999 demigods to translate each word into 999 words and 999
angels to translate each translated word into 999 words and
999 exalted priests to translate each translated word of the
translated words into 999 and we are an error in the
transcription of one of those words.
Vows exchanged in an aerodrome.
Ovals without consequence.
Masterpiece wrapping paper.
The hurricane makes of homes exploded brains.
Central Intelligence Agency.
The early explorers were extremely agitated men, antisocial, violent,
prone to drink.
Demons walk the earth.
Says so on a T-shirt.
We are born defenseless.
It’s a miracle.